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Banshee VS Unicorn - Test01 by OpenGL Banshee VS Unicorn - Test01 by OpenGL
A test render... for a mecha compeition..

Download to FULL VIEW

3dsmax|mental ray

Critiques GREATLY NEEDED!

HAS GONE TO SCRAPS
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:iconsotetsu:
Sotetsu Featured By Owner Oct 14, 2010
O.O How did you do that? It looks great :D
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
tutorials does wonders
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:iconsotetsu:
Sotetsu Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2010
awesome. which program did you use?
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
max 2008
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:iconsotetsu:
Sotetsu Featured By Owner Oct 15, 2010
thank you :)
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:iconharoldpotter:
HaroldPotter Featured By Owner Aug 26, 2010  Hobbyist Writer
While I can't offer much critique, I really like this. It's a nice battle pose and it looks good, especially for a test render.
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:icongundamguy00:
gundamguy00 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010
SOOO MUCH WIN
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:iconblackhammer-0001:
BlackHammer-0001 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010   Traditional Artist
This is really well done. The biggest issue I see is that you didn't do the best is terms of lighting. From what I see the primary light source would be from behind banshee's leg. so it would've been best to think of the shadows based on that light source, then move onto the beam sabers as the secondary light source. also it would've looked better if there was a glare on the armor cause of the sabers.
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:iconblackhammer-0001:
BlackHammer-0001 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2010   Traditional Artist
Let me clarify on sabers. The sabers since they are colored should have a colored glare on the gundams' armor. I used to have a pic I put up to show what I mean but I took it down for reasons.

Also I think there should be a small ball of light where the sabers clash
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:iconkarst96:
Karst96 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Student Digital Artist
:omg: this is amazing!!! How did you do the background? Overall this pic is superb!
the only issue I have is with the lighting of the Gundams, I'm just confused on where the light source is in this?
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:iconpk-man:
pk-man Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Professional Filmographer
I would change the pose of the Unicorn. The way the legs are positioned relative to the way the torso is bent just doesn't look natural. Maybe it's just me. I would also remove or reposition the shield as it hurts the Unicorn's silhouette, since in this picture, you are trying to achieve dynamic poses.

Another thing that stands out for me is the lack of shadows in the picture. The background shows a definite light source yet the lighting of both Gundams does not match the background. I would choose a different background which is less distracting and much easier to light. Even though this is toon shaded, lack of shadows just makes the overall picture look flat.
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:iconcommandereve:
CommanderEVE Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Student General Artist
Did you create the space background? :D
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
no..from google
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:iconcommandereve:
CommanderEVE Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Student General Artist
:( Then i'm sorry, but this isn't you image and you cannot use it unless you have creadited the artist or of couse remove it if you cannot find where you have got it from. :D
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
this render will be removed once i have an updated one & of course with the permission granted from the artist.. so for now it stays, if u want to report, by all means
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:iconcommandereve:
CommanderEVE Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2010  Student General Artist
Oh I see. :D I will not report you. ;)

Also keep up the good work I think your doing well. :D
Reply
:icondh2050:
dh2050 Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010
try a slight distortion around the border of the gundams [sonic-boom effect]
lighting angle is another issue here esp for the white guy
get some rocks floating in front of the white and black guys and i believe its would be better to change the setting as in a asteroid belt and those 2 are fighting inside the rocks, knocking some rocks away and some added dust to make the sword trails more visble
Reply
:iconel-bronco:
El-Bronco Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Nicely done :) The Bg is ok,as far as I concern, maybe you need do more lightning work. It's ongoing studies, just feel something missing.
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:iconzero0mtk:
Zero0mtk Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010
OMG...Uber epicness!
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:iconlordcastigator:
LordCastigator Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010
Damn, nice work. I'll agree they do look a little out of place, but it doesn't look like a hard job to fix it. True, I don't know how myself, but I'm hoping you do :P. I do like how you've blurred the feet slightly, adding more focus the the battle at hand...

I recognize Unicorn, so I'm guessing the black version is Banshee. I like it. Personally, I'd put a shield on the outside of it's Gatling Gun weapons, then I'd like it even more - firepower when needed, protection the rest of the time - but that's just me...
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:iconshininou:
Shininou Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
try increasing the shading. the renders are good, very detailed, but the lighting on/around them will make them look like they are part of the environment.

[link]

shadows are strong. also, there would be light reflecting off of their sabers. because there are also light sources going into the camera, like the nova by the banshee's foot, the foot would look a lot darker in comparison.

[link]

like that, but not so much.
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:icondayheart:
Dayheart Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Banshee is like almost invisible, maybe you could make a bright Space Colony BG, is more into Gundam Universe like then a planet BG.
the battle seem epic enough. heck I still :+fav: for it :D
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:iconirmax-comix:
irmax-comix Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
awesome!
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:iconnghts1lk3r:
Nghts1lk3r Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
Anything Gundam is good to me. And it really looks like they're in combat, so I approve.
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:iconhobbyv:
HobbyV Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Artisan Crafter
models themselves look fairly good.
altho, the image seems too busy. >_>

i'd suggest, squeezing your eyes and flipping the image. try to see the composition, not as two mechas battling but just shapes.
try to find pleasing shapes in negative and positive spaces. meaning within and between gundams and the edges of the image. squares in the image generally not good. and there is just too many paralel lines crossing eachother in right angles, that makes the image almost grid-like.

i know that's basic design but that just happens to be working in most cases ^_^

that's my two cents
sorry for any inconveniences.
hope i'd be of some help ^_^
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:iconcreepytrucky:
CreepyTrucky Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
oooooooooooooooooooooooh aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
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:iconradxxl:
radxxl Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
comment. lol. can hardly tell its 3D work to be honest
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:iconacelanceloet:
acelanceloet Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
it looks good, but I think the background is too full. remove this background, and render it on just an empty space with stars and maybe some rubbish flying around.... but no planets or large lights on the background! then I think it would look absolutely great!
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:iconfoxtrinee:
foxtrinee Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Student General Artist
I'll be honest.
I didnt like it (I know that no one says bad thing in DA, but I just felt like it)
Maybe it is this kind of mechas or weapons they have, the colors or the background. But some thing just doesnt feel like it should to me. I dont say that it is done poorly, but I dont say that it is perfect.
One of the thing that catches my eye is that the mechas and the background doesnt match the same style and that just doesnt look good. Maybe if you would look at them seperately thay would look better.
Thanks for reading my small review (I dont qualify myself as a good reviewer, actualy i dont think of myself as a medium review writer) I hope you understood my point of view :meow:
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
very good, i like this kind of crits... just be honest love it or hate it, cuz even in my pov, i also dont like it.. i still feels something off somewhere.. that is why i posted it up, to get other opinions

thanks man
Reply
:icon006ruler:
006ruler Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
free critique, because I'm too cheap.
Would you be able to tone down the brightness on the white guy? He seems to just be glowing, it seems unnatural to me.
also, could you spread out the asteroid belt? It's very flat, it looks like there are no extra ones that are higher than the others. Or lower, for that matter.

Very great pic, but don't remove it!
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i cant do anything about the BG cuz it's was sourced on google, which means it's 2D
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:iconskaiway:
Skaiway Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Sorry for butting in like this...but "sourced from google"? That means that somewhere someone else made the image you're using as a background and you didn't even credit them, that's wrong. Go and learn how to make similar images, it's honestly not that hard and DA is full of "planet tutorials". By doing that the quality of your work would skyrocket, at least in my eyes. Now it just seems like stealing and abuse.

As for critique on the parts which are not "sourced from google" :

Look at the poses and think about how they would have gotten into such a position while fighting. It looks weird, partly as the black seems stationary, pointing his sword and the white seems to have just noticed the other one and decided to highfive it. It lacks dynamism.

There's only four colors in there, but the black has two very contrasting choices. The white/red works a lot better. There are no directional shadows and the background suggests that light is coming from far left/front and also from the clash of the sabers...looks way off and makes the picture even more discomforting. The glowing bits on the black distract more than anything else, suggest you tone that down or make the black a bit lighter. That would also help to define the shapes of the black one more clearly.

Don't "source" from Google, you could have browsed through DA's sci-fi wallpaper gallery and ask someone for permission.
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
it was never a final render image, this is a test, & i needed opinions, hence a BG was slap into it... if u say stealing & abuse then by all means report, i dont care..

also i did asked for their permissions in DA, still waiting for their replies b4 i could use em

---

if that's what you mean, that's means my lighting as well as my position of the gundams are way off..
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:iconskaiway:
Skaiway Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Professional Digital Artist
Well, the BG as it is distracts from the action, so if it's a work in process you might as well get rid of it to draw focus onto your mechs. I don't want to report this, if you've asked for the premission then you should have just waited for the response and go without a background until then :) You can edit the deviation, no need to delete or anything.

Saying "report it, I don't care" makes it feel like you don't appreciate your art :(
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:iconopengl:
OpenGL Featured By Owner Aug 22, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
i only appreciate my art is when i put my name on the bottom right of the render
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:icon006ruler:
006ruler Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
ah, ok.
Reply
:iconulrichviii:
UlrichVIII Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010
pretty sweet dude :O the mobile suits are awesome :D also the back ground ;D
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:iconanimalluver12s:
animalluver12s Featured By Owner Aug 21, 2010  Student Traditional Artist
I love the detail! very good! better than I could EVER do!
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August 21, 2010
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